Green and Red Lights

“Take time to do what makes your soul happy.”

Life is busy, and having enough time seems to always be the biggest factor to all that we are capable and willing to do in this world. There are one-hundred-and-sixty-eight hours in a 7 day time span. If the average person spends forty-two hours sleeping, and twenty to forty hours a week working, then that would make 100 hours each week “extra” time, right? You wish. But whether its time wells spent or not, those “extra” 100 hours are all used up by the end of the week.

I was once asked if I was happy with the time that I was spending doing what I was doing or if it was making me stressed and depleted. Truth was, I was being depleted, and all of the extra time, even the time spent at work was wearing me out. I had to ask myself if there were more positives in my life that were filling me – those things being the green lights; or if the majority of my week was more full of negatives that were draining me – the red lights. Basically, was I pouring out more than I was being filled… was my cup balanced, depleted, or overflowing?

The green lights were the positives, allowing me to go and do the things that gave life to my being, while the red lights were stopping me from doing what brought life to my soul. Lights can represent anything in life – people, work, hobbies, daily to dos, etc. At that time I was still grieving and everything that took my energy seemed to deplete me faster than it would if I had not been grieving. Grief was basically a huge red light and in order to be filled, I needed a lot more green lights in my life that were going to fill me back up, because in reality, I didn’t have much to give.

It wasn’t my whole life that I had to scope out, but rather it was a simple day or week. Days turn to weeks, weeks to months, months to years, and years to your lifetime. What did my morning routine look like? Was I being filled first thing in the morning? What did a common day look like? Did I empty myself within that day? Who was I receiving from and who was I pouring out to? Was I doing things that lifted and built me up? What was I doing that was depleting me of my energy and focus? What red lights could I let go of in order to replace them with green lights? I asked myself all of these questions, and before I knew it, I had my whole week laid out before me. Seriously, looking at just one day at a time and then focusing on what a “normal” week looked like totally opened up my eyes to see what my life was like in a nutshell.

Busyness filled my life. I realized that between working full time, working out, and hanging out with friends or my husband (boyfriend back then), I hardly spent any time at home…ever. I made a list of things that filled my cup: being in the Word, spending time outdoors, hanging out with friends/mentors, having my stuff/car/closet organized (which required time…at home), going on dates with Elijah, cooking/baking, writing, learning about nutrition, working out/any form of fitness, going to barre classes, etc. Then I wrote a list of the red lights: dealing with probate (finances etc. after my dad’s death), work (40 hrs/week), trying to get to know new people, busy work, my health, etc. I noticed that no matter how empty I was, I would keep trying to pour out more and then I felt like a failure if my cup was plum empty and I was unable to give. I was like a hamster in a spin wheel, running and running but not going anywhere, so I would run faster.

After I started thinking about the green/red lights in my life, I realized how imbalanced everything was. Before I would compare my life to others and wonder why I couldn’t do the same things without feeling drained. I would try to cram as many good things into my life as I could but would fail to take out any of negative things. I felt like a mess. Once I was able to grasp this concept of lights, I began the process of clearing out the bad and bringing in the good. I didn’t add but instead purged. It was crazy because as I went through this process it felt like weights were being lifted off of my shoulders. I finally was able to pursue hobbies, ministry, etc. that before I didn’t even have the “time” to think about.

Seriously – a life changer.