Restless vs. Productive and Lazy vs. Content

For all you busy bodies out there, I can relate. In my day to day I have found that going places, pursuing people, getting 27 things checked off on my list of 54, not being able to sit down and read a book if I till had 27 more things on my list. Even my need for more sleep was affected by never sleeping in past 6am because I felt like my day was wasted. All of these things lead to exhaustion, foggy brain, and never feeling like my day was productive without cramming as many things into it as possible, etc.

Was I being restless or productive by accomplishing everything on my list? To be honest, I began to question my “way of life,” asking if I was starting to feel like a failure because of how much pressure I put on myself to go go go, or if I actually was failing when I didn’t meet my own expectations for the day. Seriously, when I read Psalm 23 and it said REST, at that time I had no flippin’ clue what that was supposed to even look like in my busy, always going life. Sleep in? Ditch the list to go read a book in the sunshine for two hours? Not ask anyone to hangout? You are kidding me, stay home….all...day?? Okay, like maybe I would read a book in the sun because then I am accomplishing something – sun bathing and getting the prime tan…but everything else, screw it. On the other hand, I knew that always going was an escape from the reality of my grief and sadness. When I would stay home all day and not see anyone, I felt extremely lonely and would become depressed. When I was driving places, I could turn up the tunes and sing instead of cry my heart out and take the time for myself. When I finished everything on my list, it kept me busy all day long and I would have no time to sit, think and just be present.

Yes, I may have been being “productive” because how many people actually workout, and then swim, make and deliver cookies, meet up with a friend for coffee or a hike, do all the laundry, organize the drawers, grocery shop, meal prep, clean the bathroom, go to the bank, practice piano, learn to play guitar, write a letter, clean out the car, and then still have time to be present and spend time with God. Uhhh, I tried…and failed, daily. I mean, honestly I would make lists so long that it overwhelmed me to the point that I couldn't even focus on one thing, so I ended up doing 7 things at once and running around with my head cut off. Oh and I was going to be gone after 5pm because I had a hot date with my man, so I had a crunch time. Yes, all anxiety and no clarity.

rest·less

adjective

1.(of a person or animal) unable to rest or relax as a result of anxiety or boredom:"the audience grew restless and inattentive"synonyms:uneasy, ill at ease, restive, fidgety, edgy

I think the only time that I would actually stop was when I was forced to because I was so sick that I ended up staying in bed all day. By the way, this happened the other morning. I woke up at 3am with terrible nausea and my tummy hurt all morning. Originally I had plans to meet up with a friend, take a barre class, do some errands on the way home, clean the house and prep dinner. By noon I hadn't even hardly gotten out of bed. Of course, I woke up frustrated immediately because my day was shot. So Elijah told me that I should write out my frustrations in a blog. At first, I was like ugh I don’t even want to write a blog. But then I realized how even after a year or more of “learning” to rest…my restless nature was STILL there. I say this, because learning to change your way of thinking and way of life is not an overnight process. Honestly, this will continue to be a struggle for me to not overload my days for probably the rest of my life. But it is a daily practice that is always improving.

con·tent

transitive verb

·1. to appease the desires of

• 2. to limit (oneself) in requirements, desires, or actions

Now on the other hand, there is something called being lazy. I would have to say that laziness and restlessness are two opposites. One contains the inability to rest or relax (restless), while the other is the unwillingness to use energy (lazy). I can’t necessarily relate to this on the day to day, but I have realized that the more I have practiced resting the more I have found it easy to be lazy. Trust me, there are days that I wake up and want to go right back to sleep, or it takes me till 3pm to get to the gym when I have been home all day but have no desire to go anywhere and all I want to do is wear my onesie pajamas that my grandma got me while watching a chick flick and eating dark chocolate. But as with everything in life, there is balance.

Balance requires the knowledge of knowing your strengths and weaknesses, knowing what drives you and what doesn't, and knowing the difference of what is important/necessary and what can wait. When you can finally dicifer between these differences, then you can learn to take the basic steps in changing your way of life. You will never be able to have equal weight on a balance scale if you don't first find out which side you need to add weight to. Therefore, you won't be able to have balance in your life if you don't first find out where you need it the most.

la·zy

adjective

• 1. unwilling to work or use energy:"I'm very lazy by nature"synonyms:idle, indolent, slothful, work-shy, shiftless, ... more

So here is the key:

• Learn to be content in every state that you are in, whether it’s where you want to be or not.

• Do the opposite of what the lazy brain desires to do: procrastination and avoiding risks. This will keep you from having the courage to do something new.

• Make 3-5 goals to accomplish for the day, and don’t be afraid to add journaling, reading, stretching/working out, or anything that is going to fill you on the list – those things are just as important as doing the dishes.

• Delegate the things on your plate that can be done by someone else quicker/more efficient/easier.

• Learn to say no more often if it’s something that is just going to add to your plate, make you less efficient or take away time from doing what you love.

• Cut down your time on social media, and learn to live in the present. This will give you a chance to see the reality of your lifestyle and how busy or lazy you tend to be.

• Live presently, take in the beauty that surrounds you constantly and learn to be thankful for every little thing that you come into contact with.

• Spend more time being still and focusing on God. Worship, pray, listen to Him. Time spent with God is never a waste and it goes above every other importance in your life.

pro·duc·tive

adjective

• 1. Producing or capable of producing crops, goods, or services, especially in abundance: a productive stretch of land;a productive employee.

• 2. Marked by abundant production or achievement: a productive career. See Synonyms at fertile.

• 3. Yielding favorable or useful results; constructive: a productive suggestion.

• 4. Economics Of or involved in the creation of goods and services to produce wealth or value.

• 5. Effective in achieving specified results; originative. Used with of: policies productive of much harm.